I'm just not good on my phone during the day and the liquid courage of a drink or two definitely makes it easier to send the first text to a girl I've been talking to.Plus, I'm not ready for a big commitment and I don't want to give off the wrong message by texting a girl all day long.
"It's hard enough trying to interpret what a girl is saying — let alone when she's using pigs and cacti and pink high heels in a message to me. "Though Joe, 31, agrees with the unwritten emjoi limit, he says that it's more the waiting game that really turns him off. I'm not sure what I’m doing later — or what I'm doing on Sunday morning for brunch. "I don't know what you're saying, but I'm pretty sure 99 percent of the time you can wait for my response."For Chris, 29, the rule is similar, but simpler: do unto others as you'd want done to you. They're nervous, they over-analyze and they definitely ask their friends if they should respond right away — or make you sweat it out a bit."I don't like to say much in text messages," Phil, 28 says. just enough to keep them interested without giving away too much. I'm more likely to share things about myself and ask more personal questions in a text.
In other words, ask yourself "Am I attracted in spite of or because of his shyness? A very close friend of mine is extremely shy, and I know plenty of other guys that are shy. Shy guys, almost by definition, do not have the balls to initiate and pursue women.
" If you answer these questions sincerely and still want to date him, you then face the problem of making it happen - or rather, making him make it happen. They fall outside of the predator-prey model for sexual interactions that is assumed in the "don't initiate contact" rule.
So, if you do choose to initiate, do so only during the early stages of dating, that is, until he builds his confidence and comfort around you.
Once this happens, you will need to gradually assume a less assertive (more traditionally female) role, because he will then be more liable to get bored with you, wonder if he could do better, consider his other options (the perception of which his newly-found confidence will likely inflate), fool around, etc.